![]() To non believers, these sentiments might sound empty and make them feel worse.Ĭondolence notes can be a source of comfort and let sorrowing relatives know they are not alone. ![]() Say “Mary’s finally out of pain.” Avoid saying anything that makes it sound like the death was a good thing.Įxpress religious sentiments, unless you’re sure the family shares those beliefs. If you really want to help, offer something specific. The bereaved is too busy and in too much pain to think of things for you to do. Say “Let me know if you need anything.” While this is a popular gesture, it’s essentially an empty one. If you’re far away, you might say “I’m here any time you want to talk.” If you live close by, bring a casserole, offer to walk the dog or do some babysitting. Gentle humor can be just what the family needs, so it’s fine to share a funny story if it puts the deceased in a good light. Share a positive memory of thoughtfulness, warmth, or other positive qualities the loved one possessed if you were also close with the deceased. Let them know they’re in your thoughts as they struggle with their grief. It doesn’t need to be fancy, but it always needs to be said. Tell them you’re sorry they suffered a loss. ![]() Even if you didn’t get along with the deceased or didn’t know the person at all, it’s always appropriate to offer sympathy to the family. Remember the note is for the living, not the deceased. When in doubt, send flowers along with your note. If the relationship was closer, be sure to write a personal note or letter. Send a stock printed card if you barely knew the deceased or the family. This is the time to offer your heartfelt sympathy. The first days and weeks after a loss are often the worst. Send the note as soon as you hear about the death. This is never the message you want to send. Skipping the note might be interpreted as a sign that you don’t care about the family’s sorrow. Write that note, even when you feel awkward. Use this list of do’s and don’ts to guide you as you craft the perfect note of sympathy. However, it is essential to strike the right tone and offer your sympathy with sensitivity. Writing a sympathy note is a thoughtful way to express your condolences when someone you know has suffered a recent loss.
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